A dialogue

She: Everyone wants to be the victim, no one has the courage to face themselves and say, ‘Hey, the problem is with me, not with you’.

I: It takes courage to analyze yourself, your actions, motivations, intentions and then accept that you can go wrong too, you can make mistakes as well. To say, ‘Yes, I am a human being and I can screw it up badly too.’

She: But how many really can do that, I mean isn’t it better to just pretend that you are the victim of circumstances and keep blaming things on others.

I: Oh! Yes that’s the easiest way out. To say, everything is wrong with someone else and not me. But, then it’s ok, people have different ways to handle situations and we should not judge them. They are the slaves of that moment.

She: You really don’t see anything wrong in it right. I feel one is prone to playing a victim especially in case of a break-up. What is your take on that?

I: There can be no valid reason for breaking someone’s heart, how reasonable or unreasonable the motive might be. Always remember, you are shattering someone’s dreams and your promises when you break a relationship. However, often in life, you cannot go about cheating yourself and therefore cheating the other person too. And in such cases, it is better to let that person go, and do it sooner, because the more you would delay the process the messier and painful it would get.

She: That’s philosophical. What do you think is the best way to break a relationship?

I: There isn’t any best way to break a relationship, because as I said before breaking someone’s heart is not right. However, if you ever have to do it, first analyze, who among you two is the strongest, the one who could take the blame, take the hit in a better manner. If you feel you are the strongest, then break the news in such a manner that you make the other person feel fine. Take all the blame on your head, keep saying the fault is at your end. At least, you can do that much, it is not out of guilt, but it is to release someone with love and compassion. Keep praying that he/she gets peace soon.

She: That is noble.

I: Hardly, it is selfishness. You are selfish for your soul, you do not want bad karma to be attached to it. Maybe you are trying to rectify your mistake and therefore consciously accepting the punishment in the ensuing.

She: But doesn’t that leave the other person grasping for breath, broken and bruised as well.

I: Yes, it does, but always remember that it would end one day. Plus, if your intentions are right, you would be surprised to find how many people would just come to you at that point of time to help you out, to protect you, to love you.

She: That’s divine.

I: Wish no one goes through such a stage, it is not divine, it is highly painful, but then without pain there is no love too. It is complicated and we need to have another dialogue on it some other day.

She: Sure. Just one thing, are you talking from experience?

I keep quiet and just smile at her.

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