No veil anymore. Some answers.

Okay, so I thought I will say this in a form of a story. Then it dawned on me, what the heck, do I really need any veil anymore? Why the pretense in any case?

Before I jump into the things that I want to say, I have a lot to say, there is something that is making me uncomfortable. There is this feeling of being superior, that I am this special person or something. Yes, there is certain awareness and a higher level of consciousness, which does take lifetimes to achieve, and then this awareness of being an old soul, a lightworker or a starseed gives a status of being different, special, unique. I am not liking how this is draining my humble nature. There is certain pride in it, which actually is going to undermine all that effort of staying grounded. There is a certain privilege of being who you are, but that is not it, that is not the ultimate.

I guess I know the answer. It is about accepting who I am. There is nothing wrong in being different or unique. What might be wrong is this grading, but then again, I can’t help it. I did the work and that’s why I am here. Instead of looking at myself on some kind of a podium, feeling special or something dumb like that, I need to just look at my journey, and stay focused there, and keep accepting myself the way I am.

Being aware of my own dark side is also important. The analysis and awareness help in being in the light, and in moving forward.

And, now to some disjointed thoughts that I want to talk about.

Everything just circles back to love. Don’t know why, but I felt like reading “Only Love is Real” by Brian Weiss again. And, as I started reading, I knew why. I needed the re-affirmation that our souls have a way of connecting with each other, and that we have been travelling through different lives with each other, and somehow, in everything, only love makes the ultimate sense.

“All is love.… All is love. With love comes understanding. With understanding comes patience. And then time stops. And everything is now.” These lines resonated.

Also Elizabeth and Pedro’s story resonated.

Is death completion of a circle? Yes, a circle doesn’t have an end or a beginning, but there was a starting point somewhere when a circle was drawn. So, isn’t that the end point too? And, if life and death and then re-births are cyclical, then somewhere, there should be an end to it too. Maybe, given enough force, can we escape from the force field of this cyclic existence? The awareness that the soul is more important than the vessel we put it into gives the power of immortality. Then again, the why remains, why go through all this? Each life teaches us different lessons, and in each lifetime we balance out our karmas. Mourning for someone who has left their mortal body is somewhat dishonoring their journey too. Learning from their journey and celebrating the connection with them, and wishing that someday, in some birth or beyond, we will meet again, becomes a more logical way of looking at this entire perspective.

Picking up another Brian Weiss book, “Many Lives, Many Masters” may help too. It did help me to make sense of when I had gone for a regression. I had taken only one session, and reliving the earliest part of my life, feeling my mother’s love in her womb, had finally healed me of all my trauma. And the only other lifetime I could see had helped me in putting into perspective the current karmic bonds and debts that we had to pay. That beautiful life was cut short violently, but that life was that of love, and that kindness and compassion carried forward to this life too. I didn’t have enough courage to go through such an experience again. Maybe, someday…

The choice of living this life. How is the question. I don’t know, but somehow the answer to this is also in a book – “Brida” by Paulo Coelho. I read this long ago when I struggled to find meaning to the sudden changes that I felt, it was disorienting, and I needed answers. My ability to heal was surfacing and energy downloads were at a peak too. I felt things that seemed so natural and yet I had never known about them. That’s when I picked “Brida” and I instantly knew who I had been and who I am. Should pick it again, to read it from the perspective of now being in acceptance.

What is this home that draws me to it, always? There is always this longing to go back home. What is this home? Isn’t Earth the only place for us? The allure for leaving this planet and going back to some unknown place, unnamed plane, keeps calling me out. This feels alien, that feels home. There is always this draw towards that something unknown, which feels so safe and secure. Feels like the only place that matters. And that’s the same feeling I get when I think of your eyes. I see in them the same home that I long for. That’s the home, and I want to go back now.

I am droopy for now. There are too many things to express. This Vesuvius has just erupted, it will pour out more lava, very soon. Just hoping, it doesn’t scald.

Blessed Be.