Being an emotional fool

No matter what I can't stop loving you, no matter what happens in my life, no matter who tries to make all that effort to make me happy. There really is a void that can never be filled, I can never love anyone the way I love you. I can never say "I love you" to anyone other than you, I can't do it, just can't. It doesn't hold meaning for anyone else. 

I know I am ranting emotionally, but I am allowed to break down sometimes. 

You are like a part of me that is lost somewhere, ripped away. And nothing fits there, nothing, and I know nothing ever will. 

You were right, rather Rabbi Shergill was right -

Maen bolia 
Tere ‘ch khali ik thaan 
Na bhar sakey 
O koi mere siva 
Na lagna ethey ko gulab 
Ugna bas ik kanda tikha

And that pierces me each moment. 

You know, even today, I have it all, and yet I don't have it all. That's my paradox. 

I miss you immensely. And my biggest regret is not just about the possibility of us, but losing out on such a dear friend, my fiercest critic, my darling sweat little furry ball who just knew what to say to me to make everything alright, with an adorable smile. I miss that. 

I wish I could see you smile again, that's been my favourite. I miss out talks, our chats. And your expressions, the best thing about you, your honesty, it used to be reflected on your face, you could never hide what you felt, never. 

Yeah I know, life is a bitch and yes, it's bloody unfair. 

This sucks, big time. 

Maybe, some other day or some other year and even if that doesn't happen, definitely some other life... This story needs a conclusion, kyuki picture abhi baki hai mere dost! 

For now, yeh background music hai...