While I wasn't sleeping

Couldn't sleep at all, yet again. Don't know what's keeping me up through the night. There aren't any burning questions. In fact, there is a strange void - nothingness. It feels as if something is getting reset or actually dialing back to the origin. 

My brain is tired by the end of the day, and yet, it ceases to slow down. There seems these constant impulses, ideas, thoughts, nurons et al colliding with each other. Strangely, they are not bothering me too. My head is calm and with morning meditations it finds newer depths each day. 

In the past few days I have been wondering how everything is such a pretend play, nothing matters whatsoever, especially the outward appearance that you showcase to the world. All our shrouds of morality, ethics, duty and truthfulness are at the end of it just words. They don't mean anything. They are just societal dictum to keep everyone in line and not result in anarchy.

And when you realise that, it becomes easier to tolerate people around you. I mean you don't really need to feel any geniune emotion, you can just skip ahead of all the pain and hurt associated with any relationship. Just see them for the people they are and look at everything from logical perspective. Life becomes easy. 

And that's been my mantra lately for dealing with 99 per cent people in my life. A detached worldview, without being an ass about it. I am still kind and compassionate, just that have found an inner working for recognising bullshit and refusing to be a part of it. Baaki saab thik hai 😊.

As they say, the remaining 1 per cent is the legend, and I am pretty much sure that's the foundation of my survival too. That inner 1 per cent is raw, real, vulnerable and just knows love and nothing else. The day this 1 per cent finds its way home and desolves it's soul, the day a new existence will begin, far from this world of dichotomy.