Know you are not alone

No matter what happens in life, no matter the situation - good or bad - know that you are never alone. Deep within there is always this un-definable bond that you will feel, something that will never let you do anything wrong, which will always make you feel loved, always seen and desired for. It is so much ingrained in you that no matter what you do, even when you want to shut it out, it will still remain with you. No one can take it away, no one can replace it. It is the most intrinsic part of you, not a piece, but someone who is you. 

When you start accepting it, plethora of emotions crowd your mind. It's like a sudden adrenaline rush, only 1000 times more intense. The sense to logically think or reason out your feelings do not apply at all. And the more you try to do it, the more you feel frustrated and you get more driven. 

You do stupid things, at times want to numb out everything. Often, you get momentary relief, but once the lull settles, it is back to square one. It is like getting into one tornado after another.

So, what to do then?

As hard as this might be, and as much as you may want to run away from everything, now, there is no turning back. Sorry dear. The only way through is through this. How do I explain this. Okay, here's a very bad simile - the first Harry Potter movie, Philosopher's Stone. In that movie, Harry and his friends are trapped by Devil's Snare - a kind of deadly plant that keeps strangling you unless you relax and then you easily pass through it. This is something like that, the more you struggle and become agitated, the more you will feel discomforted. If you could, however, become calm and just let this phase pass through, it will transform you with a knowing. Yes, it will still be excruciatingly painful, but there would be certain amount of wisdom to it.

And, if you can't do that. No worries, you will still get through it, simply because of the strong pull that you always feel inside. That deep-seated love that you feel, for yourself, that invisible bond that always propelled you to be a better version of yourself, that made you look beyond you and made you to keep searching for something that would fill that empty box that you carried inside. That box, which is now overflowing with every other emotions that you know. That will help you get through this. 

Let me share something. A few years ago, at one of the darkest of the time, while being all alone, being abandoned by everyone, I lost even the zeal to live. At that time, almost everyday, I used to get this overwhelming feeling of just ending everything. It was easy, all I had to do was to jump over my balcony. But everytime, I thought of that, something inside pulled me out of the trance. Even at that darkest time, without anyone by my side, I felt you, deep within. That light, love and compassion drove me to better myself and pulled me out of the whirlpool.

So, no matter what your today looks like, know that you will pull out of it, because deep within that force will see you through this time, and the vast expanse outside, the universe will create the right opportunities for you to meander your way to a beautiful new day. 

Always 🪄, with lots of love ❤️ and sunshine 🌞. Keep smiling, it suits you a lot 🥰 😊.