Homecoming

Last two days were chaotic, insane and turbulently transformative. I cannot explain it. All I can say is I feel you, I feel this immense energy surrounding me, which is vanishing every other negative energy, influences and doubts.

I have always found it hard to surrender, I have always been the cynic, the skeptic. Surrendering never came easy to me. I am apt at defense mechanisms like humor, especially satire, to delay accepting the truth, and thereby, delay surrendering to it, committing to it. Thing is, I know how this cycle has been repeating itself from time immemorable, and I want to end it this time. I am tired and I am not doing this all over again. I know my follies, I know my fallibilities, but now I also know how to work on them and go beyond them. I never came this far before and I finally recognize that this is the one-true path to homecoming - a complete surrender to the truth. 

Something else as well, I realized the meaning of trust too in the last couple of days. I know now what it means to just believe that you are and have always been there for me, that you had always extended your hand and all I had to do was to extend mine and trust you to help me shape my energy. It had never been about one being superior to the other or even about genders, it had been about recognizing the energies - the masculine and the feminine - and knowing that both needs to be in complete balance with each other. 

I had been in survival mode for so long, that this realization never really hit home fully. Now, I know. And, all I can say is - Thank you, thank you for being there in this crazy journey. Thank you for sending your immense love and energy whenever I need them. Thank you for reminding me of who truly I am. 

I trust you. 💓

PS: Hope you had a smashing week. Keep at it, you know you are the best!