Challenging Myself

Disclaimer: This is not a story, but very much needed as a reminder to myself.

I am a complete lazy ass. Unless someone is at my back to get the work done, I usually take everything very lightly. The deadline needs to be really about to whizz pass me before I open my laptop to finish the work. Yes, my work is impeccable (self-praise is due where no one praises), but my time management is pathetic. This is true for my personal life too.

Time. Alas! Time. That has been my greatest enemy. I could never get it right!

Reason why, I have decided to challenge myself on this platform. But a bit of a background first.

As the professional life is finally getting on to the track, and I largely like what I do, I have been realising for a while now that it is time to shift my gear towards my personal passion too. It has been long that I have ignored myself. So, the other day, I made my bucket list. I am not really someone who like doing such a thing, but this time I couldn’t help it. Not sharing the list here, at least for now, maybe, as and when I achieve them, will tell the story.

That brings us to this challenge. One of my bucket list items is to “Write a book and get it published”, basically become a published author. Though, I didn’t write that in such a vanilla manner. I have actually stated my item as – “Write a book, any fucking book and get it published!” Why such desperation? Because, in the past decade, I have at least started half-a-dozen books and have abandoned them unceremoniously.

The reason always boiled down to fear, the fear of putting too much of myself into the books or putting others in them. I am sure no one likes to read about themselves in someone else’s stories. I didn’t. Writers are basically narcissistic beings who in their attempt to get the glory for themselves could demean anyone. Maybe I was thinking too much. Or maybe, I knew the first book will always be a lot about myself, and my core story hasn’t found its logical conclusion yet. No matter the excuse, the books always remained unfinished drafts.

I have always been a storyteller. I love telling stories. I love writing tales. I just lacked the courage to show it to the world. Sometimes the bits of brilliance (blatant self-praise) show through my social media posts, but that is that. They are measured updates, edited and re-edited, keeping my readers in mind. I had to break the mould. As an experiment, I started updating on my Insta. Whether through my spoken words poetry, short tales or one-liners, I gathered the courage to put myself out there, to be judged, to be rejected, to be challenged to become a better writer.

However, the book still remained a distinct dream. That’s when I thought of this challenge. To embarrass myself on this platform. I challenge myself that in the month of December I will write at least 15 short-stories and publish it here on this blog. Those will be my first drafts. I will work on them in the month of January and send them to publishers in February. If they reject, don’t publish, I am going to freaking self-publish this book, no matter what. This itch needs to find a logical conclusion, at least.

So bracing myself, I am embarking on a self-embarrassing journey. I am going all out. Let the ride begin. You ready?