What it means to love truly

Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith, without any expectations. Here's my leap. 

Life isn't easy, every step of the way, I am taking decisions that are changing some grain in my timeline. I often think why do it, but then again I know being stuck at one place will never help. I have to keep moving and that will take me to my destination, finally. 

Does that make me happy? Sometimes, it does, I have made my peace. Life has become bearable as in each moment I feel a presence, a warm energy. It's there 24/7. It's no longer a white noise. It's not in the background anymore. It makes me smile for no apparent reason and often leaves me sombre. Mostly, smiling though.

I never thought I will feel something like this, something so beyond everyday existence that it will make my mere existence so beautiful. Here the line between expecting something and not expecting blurs. I am happy, content and whole in who I am, the connection keeps me grounded and gives me enough strength to go on, and live this life out, and yet there is also this strange desire of a culmination too. 

Somehow, knowing that the physical realm is just a pretend play and that there is always a place beyond all this logic where we will meet, makes everything easy as well. As Rumi had famously said and Imtiaz Ali aptly translated, "Pata hai… Yahaan se bahut door, ghalat aur sahi ke paar, ek maidan hai, main wahaan milunga tujhe." This now makes sense.

This strange mix of wanting and not wanting, knowing that this want is futile, because what is yours or what is you, you can't be wanting it. It is something that is there within you, it's not a second self, you just can't take it away, so where is the question of a want, in any case. While the 3D existence always brings out the conflict, but this knowing is what grounds too. 

I don't know how this timeline will progress or end, but I do know I am thankful to this life to show me what love truly means. 

Blessed Be.