As I Surrender

Does this happen?

No matter how busy I am, completely engrossed in work, without even time to take a pause, no matter how much I am navigating the daily existence, often making peace with it, no matter whatever is happening to me at this point in time, no matter the anxieties, happiness, sadness, longing, nostalgia, fun, laughter - even in the midst of all these, the very familiar fuzzy feeling of love never ceases to leave me. 

I try and try and try. Often wanting to numb myself, but it doesn't help. In the past, all of the above worked, now, nothing does. 

So, after struggling against it for this long, I have accepted it as my "New Normal". And, this epiphany happened when I went to Golden Temple again a few days ago. This time, as I submerged myself in the cold energy of that place, I decided to surrender. I realised there is nothing I can do anymore. It is beyond my control. And it is not worth fighting against it anymore or trying to find logic in it or make any sense of it. So, the best thing is to surrender to whatever is happening.

And, I felt a strange feeling of not really peace but it was more like reaching somewhere and that I can finally relax and not be exhausted always from all these running away. Surrendering at all time isn't easy, but in the moments of surrender it is bliss.

And what am I surrendering to? For me, to my present situation and definitely to an energy that is all encompassing. 

I am still making a sense of it or actually still processing how to express it, but whatever it is, it is nice, it is progress and it is all about love 💕.

Remain blessed.