Hiatus

My dear book, I am taking a hiatus for the next 10 days, won't be in town, completely packed with work schedule, so won't be able to work on the stories. Hopefully at least will get some new ideas once I am back. It will be a blessing to run away from this biting cold.

And, dear book, I also want to thank you today. It is because of this journey that I have had the courage to do a lot many things that I never thought I would ever do. Being vulnerable, being myself, putting myself out there, being happy without feeling guilty, living life the way I always wanted to.... the list can go on and on. 

Also, book, I am doing everything that I had promised myself that I would do.

- I am not neglecting my book, taking a necessary hiatus though. Would be too tired to write anything after the gruelling day. Plus, have to meander my way around ex too. By now I have got a handle on the things, but it won't be easy to do this face-to-face. I may do one or two rants here occasionally, blah.

- Health is still the focus. Starting my day with yoga and meditation, taking my supplements on time, eating healthy, walking... So, yes, health will always be a priority.

- Enrolling for healing after coming back to Delhi. Plus, it needs to get a little warmer. Can't take my hands out to type also, at times. Baba re, ki thandaaaa, as we bongs say...

- CORD visit is on for March, so is the international travel. Need to save some money, which I am actually good at, and for the first time spend it on myself.

- Work is not suffering at all. Instead, I have become more efficient without the need to impress another person. It has been crazy hectic, but good hectic, as I was telling a friend, whom I connected after long. That is the next point.

- I started my journey to mend things. I have started reaching out to people I had abandoned, and I never expected I will be blessed with so much affection. Some responded to my messages within seconds and some within a few hours. No one said anything bad. They were genuinely happy as I connected with them. They were concerned, they wanted to chat, talk and those in town, wanted to meet up.

But most importantly, I am very happy today as I mended an important core friendship, a friend I had drywalled a decade ago. It took me lots of guts to reach out. I literally stalked him and somehow reached out to him, as I had lost his number. I was ready to be snubbed, had zero expectation to be reciprocated. And yet he did, within a few hours. It was a huge win.

I was almost teary when we chatted after 10 years. I don't know how to describe the impact of having him back in my life. I was shit scared to saying anything to him, started off on formal note, but he just put me at ease the moment he asked me if I was doing fine. He said he was super proud of me, and that's fucking meant a lot, coming from him. He is shifting to Gurgaon soon, and I can't wait to meet him. By the end of the chat, I asked him, "Can I still call you daddu?", to which he said, "Always." Along with a wand ❤! And, with that I knew I was never away from a loving home. It was just that I ran away from it. Now I know, I will be taken care of, always.

I had a long conversation with my Man Friday too. It's so damn unfair. I really hope he also picks up the courage to do the right thing. He needs to live for himself and be happy, hope he chooses his happiness. I told him that just because I knew that I had him at my back, the safety net that will catch me if I fail, I was able to go ahead with my break-up. Told him, that because he had said that he would keep a check on me to see if I did go through it or not once in a while, I knew he would keep at it till the time I will end it. Had it been any other friend, I wouldn't have taken it seriously, but just because it was him, I knew he would keep at the end of his bargain. That's the kind of friend he is. And, that's when he revealed something, he said, he was so concerned about me when I had told him that I was scared of being physically hurt, he actually spoke to an influential friend of his to ensure that in case required he could get a Delhi Police guy deployed for my safety! Gosh! I was touched. I really hope he gets his happiness soon, he deserves it.

- The big question of Love. Yes, I said I don't want a car wreck, but somehow, now my key is not even in the engine. What am I doing? It's just that I am waiting for a signal. Waiting for the lights to turn Green. Point is, I don't want the timing to go wrong this time. This car will only accelerate when I will be asked to.

For now, back to the maddening world of money, money money.

See ya soon.