This and that

Got drunk last night and woke up with a hangover. Bro couldn't get wine, so had whiskey. Me being drunk doesn't do well, as my past experiences had taught me 🙄. 

I hit the panic button in the morning as the first thing I did was to check and re-check my phone. Except for a stupidly Delhiite New Year wish on insta, thankfully I haven't done anything idiotic. No drunk calls or drunk texts. Maybe getting wise with age or maybe because I slept halfway through watching Drishyam 2, a supposed 'blockbuster'.

Nonetheless, it was fun to unwind. After long, my sis-in-law was exactly like her old self, chirping away. Though on remission, she will be on medication for another year. We were back to baiting my bro, laughing hard and even making fun of our head full of white hair! 

She is like the little sister I never had, having known her since she was merely out of her teens. I have almost seen her growing up in front of me. She doesn't talk much with others, but is a chatterbox when she is with me. We gossip and gossip and gossip about everyone in the family, to the extent I even know all the stories of her office too. So, it hit me really hard last year when her diagnosis came. Along with running from everywhere possible, I had prayed to anything and everything so that she could get fine. While she had been recovering over time, today, when I saw her finally being her old self, I knew she will be alright. That this little sister of mine will live a long and full life, and I wish from my soul she does.

I don't want to cry today, but definitely being emotional.

Now, back to this book. I should hopefully write something tonight or maybe could give it a rest for the day and enjoy it with my niece. A complete story buff, she doesn't sleep without listening to one or in my case as many as to get her to sleep! Once I had made Gulliver travel to God knows where all for a week to tell her a different story every day. Ever since a toddler, she had asked us to tell her a different story every day. Plus, she is one logical child. I mean even if it is a fantasy tale, it cannot be illogical. She questions everything. And, guess her favourite subject? Maths! Reason why I don't play teacher-teacher with her ever. Arey izzat ka sawal hai bhai, Shakespeare puch lo, Prime Factor mat pucho yaar 🥴.

Anyway, so since yesterday I am telling her the Lord of Rings story and plan to sustain that for the next three nights that she is here. 

It's a blessing to have her in my life. I have brought her as my own since the day she was born. It will be 10 years in a few days, but it seems yesterday that she was a cute baby who refused to sleep at nights and demanded me to talk to her, while she kept fluttering her eyelids. She wasn't a cry baby but definitely a demanding one. Interestingly, she used to bid goodbye to her parents with a smile whenever they had to leave for work, but the moment it was my turn, she used to throw a fit. 

She calls me P, as she couldn't pronounce pisi - Bengali for bua, when she started to talk. And, when she really wants to shower some more love or wants something really bad, P becomes P Ma. 

As I stand today, that's another question I need to ask myself - did I trade being a mother too? I love kids, I am a natural with them. There was a time when I wanted at least half a dozen of them! Is that a regret too? 

I haven't analyzed it yet, and I am sure there would be many layers of life's aspects I will keep questioning about in the coming days. However, one thing for sure, this little blessing in my life did cushion the blow. 

I am not supposed to be so emotional today. Guess all this will be a part of my detoxifying journey. 

For now, I am happy where I am. There are lots of wishes, no needs, and I will wait for them to be fulfilled too.

There are no coincidences in life. Everything happens for a reason and everything takes its own time. Shit man, lagta hai kaal ki abhi bhi utri nahi hai 😋