Faith

Why can't I say I give up, that I don't want to be tenacious anymore. That this is not for me, that this is too much of a task. I have asked myself this several times, I have given up before too. But this time, despite everything else, despite this exhaustion, this zero energy to carry forward anything, one thing I cannot do, that is, to give up. I don't know why but this time around, I am not able to give up. It's like some force that is propelling me forward and whenever I want to shun everything, it just doesn't let me do it. 

What is this world order? How does any of this make any sense at all? In fact, any of this never made any sense ever, so what's the point of asking such a pointless question, in any case. 

So what should I do? 

Universe is asking me to keep faith. But in what? What is it that I should look forward to? What is it that I am moving towards? What is that big reveal? I don't know. 

There isn't any fear anymore. I am not scared of anything. There is nothing that is holding me up as well. There is no guilt, no shame, no regret, nothing. I don't feel stuck too. 

I am just exhausted. This darkness that is I am wading my way through is making me tired. It just feels as if I am in a loop, and there is an exit code somewhere which I need to solve to get out of this place, and finally reach where I have to. 

It feels as if I am only a step away from my destination, and yet this step is sealed off. I can see it, but cannot reach it. 

What is it? I don't know yet, but will get my answer soon. I have asked the right question, deciding to bare it all. When the question is asked, the answer is always provided, and with it, the way ahead as well. 

I have faith :)