Some ramblings on purpose

So, what's the great purpose of my life? 

Well, I am no Einstein or Oppenheimer or even Barbie for that matter. I am not even mediocre. I mean, I do have my sparks of brilliance, you see. But sustaining that spark or giving it enough oxygen to turn it into fire isn't happening. That's partly because of my own laziness and habit of procrastinating things. 

Lately, I realized that it is half true. Whenever I have dipped my feet into the world of glitz, fame and moolah, I have always felt "out-of-order". I know I have the ability to get there, but there is a price one pays for being excellent. That price is their own life, the peace and privacy of their own life. And, somehow I am not comfortable with that, yet. Everyone has skeleton in their closets, the famous ones have closets full of them. They don't seem to mind them or I don't know how they deal with that, maybe that's why half of them are in rehabs or become addicts. There is no peace in that world, and I wary. Question is, should I? 

I still don't have an answer to that. 

But, there is something that I have figured out though. Material world is a choice, but who I am as a person is not. Looking back and taking into account the current situations and people in my life, made me realize that I don't know how but I have made some significant impact on some people's lives. And, it had nothing to do with any material aspect, it was just being kind, caring, loving and loyal to them. It was all about being with them, without any judgement, giving second, third and God knows how many more chances to some. And when these people become happy or confident or even just smile, it gives me a sense of peace too. I don't need their acknowledgment or their gratitude. It is just this, the ability of being kind, and it is this simple thing, that's all.

Of course, I won't lie that it does feel nice when they do let me know that it helped them find a way for themselves or that they love me and adore me. At times, I spill over my kindness to my work too, and I have seen how clients and colleagues alike become comfortable with me, how some of them light up like a bulb seeing me or beam with positive energy hearing me. It does feel nice. 

And that got me thinking. Maybe, that's what my purpose is. Being kind. I mean, there are loads of people out there who can do something life-altering and become famous. I kind of don't want to do that, but I know, I might have to travel that path too. So, maybe, I will do it, while still remaining kind and loving. It's important never to forget from where you have come, your roots, and mine are humble and yet comfortable. That should do, right?

It's just crazy how to meander through life. Each day, each decision adds to your existence. Living it in a conscious manner, with kindness and wisdom, is what matter at the end of it. I do it each day, some day I win, some day, I become quite, and once annually I get really mad! 

So far so good. Rest, tomorrow is another brand new day. 

PS: On the context of Oppenheimer, couldn't help but mention. There is a poem by T S Eliot, The Hollow Men. It has these famous lines - This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper - alluding to the event. And, somehow that gives a sense to our lives too, which ends, not with a bang but with a whimper. It just snuffs out, one day, just like that. So, what's the point of any of this, this illusion will not be there at all. Just that, till the time we are here, being kind and loving does help, don't you agree?

Blessed Be.