As much as...

There is something that I analyzed about myself today, something that I knew defined me, but I wasn't really ready to accept it or see it or whatever bullshit. It's how much of a dichotomy as a person I am. Let me explain in pointers:

1. As much as I like to dine in the 5-stars, I also relish cutting chai from the corner chai tapri.

2. As much as I enjoy semi-classical and Sufi music, I equally love to dance to the baraati band baaja.

3. As much as I want to avoid mud and puddles, my happiness knows no bound when it rains and I could drench myself in it.

4. As much as I love a good game of tennis, my adrenalin rushes every time I watch FIFAA World Cup.

5. As much as I devour the feel-good or meaningful movies, I get a kick out of Bollywood masala films too.

6. As much as I try to wise up each year, I still end up binge watching gooey holiday season rom-coms - seriously, every year it's the same old story!

7. As much as I read the classics, enjoy poetry and check out latest scientific research, I also cannot help myself from knowing the silliest details of the celebrities - I mean I actually cross-checked the "fact" about Kartik Aryan re-following Sara Ali Khan and vice-versa on Insta!

8. As much as my things around me looks unorganized, I am actually an "organization freak". I like everything organized, even if they are not. It's just a stupid schema that I run in my head.

9. As much as lazy I may seem, often abandoning projects, which is what the world sees, I actually always go back to these projects and finish them in peace, without telling anyone.

10. As much as I have a strong memory, remembering most of the things, for crying-out-loud I could never remember a thing to say during a fight with someone - like what I had done for them in the past or what all they did not do for me or had said to me. Without such arsenals, how am I to win? 

11. As much as someone hurts me, says or does bad things to me, I am someone who is quick to forgive and mostly forget too, unless what that person did crosses a stupid moral line - that is raising questions about my integrity. Don't know why, but that hurts me deeply. Makes me wonder, is that ego too?

12. As much as I don't show it or say it often, I do care a lot about my immediate family, despite everything. Crazy, right?

13. As much as I stay resilient and hopeful about life in every situation, there are times when I run into my shell and re-read or re-watch Harry Potter. There is something magical about that world.

14. As much as I conduct myself with poise, anytime I do something embarrassing, I do not stop at that one situation. It becomes a cascade of embarrassing events, unless someone physically tell me to stop.

15. As much as I tell myself that I need to better myself each day, I am actually Monica Geller at times in being competitive. I simply don't know how to lose, really, I am very bad loser. Yikees!

Well, get the picture. While I want to say like Sheldon Cooper, I am a whimsical elf, but then again, I might as well go with this verse by Rudyard Kipling, “If you can walk with the crowd and keep your virtue, or walk with Kings-nor lose the common touch; If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of distance run- Yours is the earth and everything that's in it, And-which is more-you'll be a man my son.” In this case, woman!

I like who I am. And, this "I" isn't bad, don't you think?