Hurt and a win

Why is it that people have to open old wounds, and not just that, scratch it open and hurt so bad that it pains like hell, makes you want to scream and howl and cry? Why, simply why? Why can't they let the bygone be? Let the other person live in peace.

I guess it's human tendency, to use such things for their own convenience. 

I am upset, actually more than that. I feel something crumbling inside me and I am also utterly disappointed, not with myself but with people around me, for being such jerks. 

So my manufacturer and pseudo manufacturer have again showcased how they really screwed my life, how everything just stemmed from them. While that's what I wanted to write about, the cyclic realisation and somehow wanted to give a pat on my back saying, "I see it and I see how far I have come. How much I have worked on myself, and have detached my own self from their drama." 

However, what I didn't count on were their inert selfishness, the inflated egos and their want for control. Things turned to worse and a festive occasion turned into a battlefield. I was again dragged into the middle of it all. 

After dousing the fire, thought that must be enough, but it wasn't. How could it be? I wasn't impacted, you see. So pseudo manufacturer decided to take the matter in her hands. In a very convenient manner she brought up the topic of my actual manufacturer, now defunct, blaming the malfunction on the other manufacturer. It was labelled as "murder" and that now the path is set for another one. And she didn't stop even when she saw me hurting. In your own fight, why drag me? What have I done to deserve all this, for how long? 

I have seen this too many times. After sometime they will become normal and I will be left alone to collect myself. I could hear my crumble inside, and I know I am just an inch close to a breaking point. And I guess, that's what is the difference this time. I have a choice, either to crumble or to tell myself that none of this is my fault and I am good. I might be a defected product, but my defects are beautiful and I love what I see in the mirror, and I choose to do the latter. 

I love myself and I will always keep choosing myself, my peace and wellbeing. And I know I am not alone. The strength I get just by knowing that I can love unconditionally takes me through everything in life. 

Yes, they are right when they say, love is the answer to everything. It's just that our definition and expectations about love are unrealistic.

I love being in love, always!