Sunshine

While I couldn't write a single word to complete my stories, I had a different kind of weekend, filled with love, warmth and kindness. 

I don't want to elaborate, except that the weekend became a blur as I spoke with people after people. 

And just when I thought the day was over, I got a call from Man Friday at midnight. I realised this must be important as he might have forgotten to calculate the time difference. As I picked up the phone, he confirmed the worst. It was a done deal now, despite both of us wishing that it shouldn't have ended like that. We spoke for almost 4 hours. I knew it was important for him to release his pent-up angst and hurt. The road ahead won't be easy and if all this remains inside it won't do him any good. All I had to do was to lend an ear. Why does this happen? It's so fucking unfair, but then when has life ever been fair? He is such a sweetheart and deserves the world, and it's just so fucking sickening to see him go through something he always wanted to avoid. Life has a sadistic way to turn around and make you face what you never wanted to encounter. I know he will eventually become fine, we are all there with him, but no one can take away that hurt, that's personal and that kills. I sincerely hope he heals from it soon. We even joked about setting him up with my bestie. 

It was almost getting 4 when I had to conclude the call. As we were about to keep down, he said, "I want to tell you something. I want to thank you for being there in such a rock solid manner and having my back in such a selfless way. You heard me rant for hours at times and gave me rational inputs, and gave me the courage to try to be the person that I always wanted to be. You are such a rockstar and I wish everyone should have someone like you. The world would become a better place. I can't imagine how lucky those people are whom you love, and those who are in your periphery. I also in my own brotherly, friendly whatever way love you a lot and can take a bullet for you. You deserve to be appreciated and applauded. I wish you get what you want in your life." He also said something else but let me save it for the last. 

I didn't know how to react. I mumbled some thank yous and told him will always be there for him, just as I am with everyone else in my close circle. And asked him to take care before disconnecting the call. 

I kept thinking of what he had said, in fact everyone else pretty much said something similar through the weekend, and it hit me - there isn't anything else in the world more powerful than love. It not only makes life easier to live but also changes lives. 

So love, love freely, open your heart and see how the world loves you back. That won't need any validation. It is just pure you, that's all. 

As for the last bit, Man Friday also said, "You are a little warm fur ball of sunshine, making everyone's life bright and beautiful!"

I have heard this multiple times - people calling me sunshine. I never internalized it before, but yesterday realised that maybe it's not bad to be the Indian Oprah Winfrey after all, only difference now is that I don't go to people anymore but I cannot turn my back on anyone who asks for my help, and these could be anyone, even people on my blacklist. I surely have come a long way. 

Coming back to sunshine, Jazz used to play this for me, and somehow now it makes sense. I had never realised who I was, but now I know. I love being sunshine ☀️❤️