So much and so little

There is so much that is going on, yet the passage of time is just that, day-after-day passing by. Is there any consequence or way forward to any of the activities? Where is it finally leading up to? I don't know, and frankly, I don't even wish to know. 

This illusion, this dance, this non-stop cycle - it's just tiring. And what else is, this tango that we have been playing. How long are we at it? How far can we remember?

At times, I see some glimpses, some flashes, some unexplainable scenarios that seem so improbable yet so real. I want to believe in them, I try to as well, but my logical mind refutes them. Maybe, that is where I need to apply emotions, maybe if I see all these from the prism of emotions, I may accept them in a better manner. 

Everything that has been, and everything that will be, are part of who I am, but this acceptance without any judgement or questions or doubts is the most difficult thing to do. I struggle with this every day, and each day, I inch a little closer to my own reality. 

It's funny how this lifetime has been shaped into a sinkhole of tragedy, and yet, I pull myself out every time. Now, I know why, I always had the energy of love surrounding me, that never left me. In every aspect of my life, I felt that force, that propelled me forward and does that even today. And, I am grateful for it, with my sincerest heart. 

Why am I writing today? I feel I am at a cusp of something, I have been standing at the crossroads for sometime, but some divergent is coming along and it will compel me to take a path that I thought did not even exist. This is spooky, should I be scared of myself, there you go, that's the entire spiral of believing in myself, my instincts. 

Chalo, yeh bhi kar ke dekh lete hai, kya farak parta hai, nahi! 

Remain blessed, Har Har Mahadev!