Wind under my wings

There is this something that I always find missing from my life. The answer to my question is the need to become a more passionate and spontaneous person, and I have no frigging idea how to be one. 

Here's my dilemma. 

I am emotional, but not emotive. I am creative, but not expressive. I am sensitive, but not passionate. I am adventurous, but not spontaneous. I am experimentative, but risk-averse. 

It's just that there is always a line, there is always a boundary that I dare not cross. Every time, I strive and somehow reach the border, I never get ample courage to cross it. That other side is always a forbidden territory for me. I don't know what binds me, but that's how it has always been. 

And, I don't want to be that person anymore. 

I want to explore the inner child within myself, I want to nurture that child, and look at the world through it's perspective. Maybe, that's how I will be able to find the inner balance that I crave so much, the balance that will help me cross over to the other side, without any fear, without any expectation. Just pure excitement and passion to fly high, to experience life, to be free and to forget about every thing else, just me and my free flight, to anywhere the wings take. 

I just need the right amount of wind to fly!